Dear writers, bloggers, commentators and fellow Americans,
"Under the bus" has officially jumped the shark. We’ve reached peak levels of use, and can no longer afford to rely on this increasingly wobbly literary crutch to advance our rants and observations while we continue to feed out addiction to personal victimization. I understand: you feel as though you or the person/groups you are referencing has been mistreated, deceived and unexpectedly abandoned. But there has to be a better way, or at least, an alternative way to express our frustration.
"Under the Bus" has been absolutely ubiquitous since at least 2008, after years of existence as an obscure metaphor. Where did this phrase come from anyway? There are many theories, but no one has been able to pinpoint its origin. Maybe it is simply the most current manifestation of our tendency to use hyperbolic, violent imagery to add gravity to a relatively petty grievance. Ironically, "under the bus" tends to lower the gravity of any given situation. When I hear the phrase, I think, "this person has run out of ideas." UTB has become the new "random": a catch-all word/phrase used as filler, but which eventually loses all meaning. Not too long ago, while surfing the net, my eyes were assaulted by an unexpected GIF showing surveillance video of a man actually being struck and killed by a bus. Since then, the hackneyed use of UTB has become unbearable to me.
We’ve know that the phrase was being worn down for some time; evidence of writers choosing to make cute allusions to "tire marks", "engines" and "drivers", rather than explicit use of the three word exclamation, were proof that "under the bus" had become too predictable. I say that we try to use other, unexpected exclamations to make the same point: how about throwing in a "he sunk my battleship" every now and then?
One thing is clear: It is time to throw "under the bus" under...some other vehicle. The other idiot-idiom that needs to go? :
(drinking the) Kool-Aid. It is possible that I loathe this phrase even more than "under the bus". In fact, I’d toss this one under the bus and then brag about it. First of all, it’s an often misused allusion to a very dark event in American history. In 1978, cult leader Jim Jones led nearly 1000 people to their deaths by trapping them in their Guyana commune and forcing them to drink cyanide mixed with grape-flavored drink. Originally, the Kool-Aid drinking allusion was a warning; the metaphor was meant to represent people who had reached a point of giving up all freedom and common sense to a cultish leader or idea. Now it’s tossed around as a petty insult, on the same level as a schoolyard, so-and-so is your boyfriend taunt.
As a Bay Area native who has visited and often driven past the Oakland cemetery which holds hundreds of the bodies of those who died during that ordeal, I will never take part in commentary that makes light of the Jonestown massacre.
By the way, you’ve got the drink wrong: Jones’ followers actually drank Flavor Aid brand drink, NOT Kool-Aid! (This is probably why you don’t see Flavor Aid on the market anymore.) Why continue to slander Kool-Aid, a delicious drink and symbol of many a childhood?
I'd even be willing to compromise: get rid of "drink the Kool-Aid," and bring back "stay out of the Kool-Aid if you don't know the flavor." * *
And while we’re at it, here are a couple more examples of older, well-known clichés that have become commonplace again, particularly in sociopolitical commentary, and which need to be sent to some kind of literary death panel:
Nero Fiddled While Rome Burned: Recently, this has become a favorite among the anti-government crowd and all those who can’t stand that the world continues to revolve, with sky intact, despite the hardships many people are going through. "What? Someone dared to have a party while I’m out of a job?! Nero fiddles..."
As it turns out, the idea of Nero fiddling is rooted in anachronism, as the fiddle would not be invented for another 500+ years AFTER the time of Nero and the great fire that destroyed Rome. So really, the phrase makes about as much sense as Michelangelo listening to his iPod during sculpting sessions.
Marie Antoinette/"Let Them Eat Cake": Another recent resurrection and favorite of the hate-the-rich, blame-the-successful critics; particularly useful against uppity First Ladies. And again, this oft-repeated talking point is a work of fiction. * * Other literary devices to avoid or use at minimum:
The prefix "neo": Not sure if people realize this, but neo- is not a synonym for "bad" or "fake."
Any reference to "cajones" as symbols of courage, nerve or morality. Sexist and generally played out. * *
It’s not going to be easy: it may not happen in a year, or even a decade, but I believe that one day, with your help, we will be able to reclaim our language from corny, over-used clichés. Yes we can!